So…on almost a whim, I just called a Nurse-Midwife group to schedule a meet-and-greet because I’m thinking about switching practices. My current doctor, an OB at a group practice, is great. Very laid-back, very much not seeing pregnancy as an illness but as a normal life condition, which I like. But I feel like she’s almost too hands-off. Like, in my week 12 visit, I told her I felt like I had a groin pull. I thought that because 1) my groin hurt and 2) it literally started hurting in the squat rack, after I lost my balance while warming up with the barbell, and 3) the symptoms were the exact same symptoms that R had when he pulled his groin squatting. She saw it as just a pregnancy symptom of some common pelvic shifts and pains. At week 16, the pain was still there, and worse, and she was still unconcerned. I made an appointment with a physical therapist who confirmed that I did, in fact, have a groin pull. The stretches he gave me to address the issue almost immediately cleared it up.

My ultimate fear is that because she is so nonchalant and maybe also not the most in-tune with what I am thinking or feeling, she’ll push me into having a c-section. Or, honestly that communication will break down when I’m exhausted and overwhelmed from laboring and I won’t be able to trust her to have my back. I also have some anxiety about the hospital having limited private rooms for partners to stay the night and being fairly intervention-focused on the whole (e.g. more into constant monitoring of the baby which prevents the mom in labor from moving around at all).

At the same time, I’m very pro-epidural and sort of anti-birth plan, because I think you just have to do your best with the circumstances you have.

All of this just to say, that I’ll meet with the CNMs on Monday, have a follow-up ultrasound to our anatomy ultrasound Tuesday, and then have a meeting with my OB on Thursday that I’ll decide what to do with.

We did also have the anatomy ultrasound this week which was great. Our baby has such insanely cute little feet! The feet! And ze was very active, kicking its legs and moving it’s tiny arms all around. And yesterday, I think I felt my first baby movement which felt much more like Delhi belly than I would have thought, haha. I was expecting a gentle poke, but it’s more like a full belly rolling.