Upholding, with a side of questioning

Do you know about the Four Tendencies Framework?

It refers to how you respond to inner and external expectations. There are four categories you can fall into:

  • upholding — you follow through on all internal and external expectations
  • questioning – you follow through on expectations only if you think they are worthwhile
  • obliging – you only follow through on external expectations
  • rebel – you don’t follow through on internal or external obligations

I am definitely an upholder and – thus – prone to what is called “tightening” where I create a new habit and then make it more and more and more and more strict until I’m insane. For example — I started a habit to walk 10,000 steps each day and would walk in loops around my apartment complex until I got there. Or, I just cannot seem to take a day off the gym without extreme guilt even if my body feels really exhausted.

You can take a quiz here to figure out your own tendency and there’s also a book for those who want to go further.