I have realized that I used to do stuff. Nothing crazy, but I had dinner my with friends (w/o R, w/o baby). I would do karaoke, I would browse at stores, I would take a weekend away with my sisters, I would deadlift (!) and go to yoga, I would read books, I would get interested in stuff like fermentation and try new recipes. I would have a list of hiking places I want to go or movies I wanted to watch.

In the last 15 months, all of those parts of my life have been stripped away and I’m left with work and motherhood. Like that’s it. I honestly can’t think of much that I do outside of self-maintenance (e.g. showering, basic exercise) that is not in those categories.

Now, I am fully vaccinated, R is fully vaccinated, our baby is a lot less feral than she used to be but I still don’t really do anything that is not work or parenting.

So what is fun to me? Or what even might be fun and I can just try it and see how it goes?

  • going to in-person meditation
  • going to an in-person yoga class
  • trying a new restaurant with friends
  • cooking my way through a cookbook
  • having game night
  • going to a browsing library and browsing

Honestly, none of that sounds very fun. But I thought as a baby step, I’d try to go to a yoga class this week and see how that goes.

Pleasant Events

I have been thinking a lot recently about having fun. I sort of have this ongoing thought around, “Am I having enough fun?” I’m not exactly sure what I mean by this. Some combination of — Am I free-spirited enough? Am I spontaneous enough? Am I enjoying my life enough?

So I’ve started to compile a list of activities that I find fun, but that are also nourishing to me.

  • home projects — like reorganizing a space, finding a solution to a small problem, rearranging furniture
  • having friends over meals, or hosting them overnight — especially if you cook together
  • cooking when I’m alone in the house, with a glass of wine and a podcast
  • karaoke
  • people watching
  • Frisbee
  • lifting weights with lots of people (the other day, I got to lift in a group of four and it was great)

There are some activities that are a little less fun, but still nourishing like:

  • taking a long shower
  • changing my sheets
  • stretching/yin yoga
  • writing in my journal.

In three weeks, I get significantly less busy so I’m planning to make a few dates with myself or with friends to engage in some of these activities. A more proactive choice of where I want to spend time based on what will leave me better off afterwards.