Most years, I make a resolution. Or at least more of an intention. I’m generally happy with my life, but I’ll try to tweak things in certain areas. I’ve been thinking about 2020 and what keeps coming to mind for me is the Sabbath. Creating Sabbath within my own life.
As a secular person, I do feel a bit weird about adopting a religious tradition outside of context. But I honestly think people with formal structured Sabbath are probably happier that those without. A forced rest – time for relaxation, away from the never-ending to-do list.
So what would I want a secular sabbath to look like:
- clear starting and ending points
- without my phone (I’ve been thinking about getting a sabbath-specific dumbphone so I can see people but not use the internet)
- a delicious activity: a meal with friends, a massage, a long shower with wine – something that nourishes
I want to some more reading on this…looking at this and this
I have been wanting to write for a long time, but haven’t prioritized it. Life has been good. R and I are both back at work but it has been better than I thought it would be. I have become a drop-off pro, greatly facilitated by the fact that I work from home three days a week. MG is insanely cute, crawling around like a maniac and with very clear preferences. The whole world is her oyster.
I’ve been thinking a bit about the holidays and new traditions. I have a real aversion to traveling anywhere with MG. I firmly think travel is not for the baby, but for the parents (though in our case, mostly an obligation). Babies I think, at least our baby, really like sleeping in their own crib, being the masters of their own place, and spending a lot of time with people they like and know. With Thanksgiving coming up, I am very, very tempted to just bail and do what we want instead. There is something interesting to me about how grandparents (who are retired) get to be visited instead of visit, while working people with families have to cram that into already limited time off. Wow, how crotchety do I sound? I guess I have a sense that it’s not worth spending free time out of obligation. I’ve been very into the simpler life – a life where a good Saturday is making a delicious soup and eating it with bread and friends and taking a walk and watching The Americans while the baby naps. That to me, right now, is much more nourishing that going to check out the new MoMA or taking the train anywhere.
A while ago, I was really into my daily habit tracker. I had five daily habits: 10k steps, no sugar, time with R, meditation, and stretching. Since then, a lot has happened. I became pregnant, had a baby, came back to work, etc. I’ve been thinking about what my new habits should be. My short-list so far is:
- Food journaling. I am very not into diets or anything insane, but have 10 pounds of “baby weight” left to lose and thought writing down all the food I eat might help with some internal accountability.
- Intermittent fasting. Linked to the above, I’ve been trying to eat in a window of 10 hours and fast for the other 14 (which isn’t as bad as it sounds because I’m typically asleep for 8 of them).
- Deep work. Now that I’m back at work, I would like to become a super productive beast.
- Daily workout and nightly stretching.
- Meditation. As usual.
And, I would love to put something on their like nourishment, but I’m not sure exactly what would fit. Left to my own devices, I become very routine-oriented (which is good in many ways), but can lose opportunities to have fun.
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about rituals. In November, MG will start daycare and R and I will go back to the office full-time. So, even though she won’t remember them long-term, it seems like a good opportunity to start with some family rituals.
You can have daily rituals like…
- a few, on-rotation afterschool snacks
- saying what you are grateful for at the dinner table
- taking a shower and changing into pajamas after school (instead of before bed). We did this a lot when I was a kid and it was soooo cozy.
Or monthly rituals like:
- cake for breakfast on the first day of every month
Or yearly rituals like:
- a birthday experience (instead of presents)
- pumpkin carving
- opening one Christmas present on Christmas eve
Or seasonal rituals like:
- late night summer grocery store runs;
- going to the library on a rainy day and then spending the day snuggled up at home
- watching Moonstruck between Christmas and New Year’s