A totally tiring week. Life has felt overwhelming and exhausting. I think a lot of this was coming back from the Thanksgiving holiday into five full days of work, and a lot has been the intensity of work itself. I feel like it will be nonstop until leave starts. I would love to just hang out and nap this weekend but we have an all-day birth class on Saturday. I am dreading going to it because I think it will make me fear birth more than I do now. I am much more anxious about the third trimester than I am about birth itself. Birth I feel like I can (or will) get through no matter what, and I honestly don’t feel too wedded to any particular goal or process other than healthy mom, healthy baby.

I realized post-workout has recently been the only time I feel like my ‘regular’ self and not my tired, heavy pregnancy self. Which is interesting because I sort of have started to dread my workouts a lot, but the endorphin high I get makes me feel normal.

I’m also starting to get a little stressed that we have bought exactly nothing for the baby. That fits with how we do stuff, but it would be nice to make a list and just get it all over with. Maybe this is something I can outsource to a friend who likes shopping more than we do.

In good news, an affordable to us daycare that accepts little babies opened right by our subway stop. That would be super convenient because they have extended hours, no wait list (because they are brand new), are in our budget, and are right around the corner from our apartment.

I have officially reached the point of pregnancy where all eyes are on me at the gym. I find it very disruptive. After years of lifting with literally no interference, now I feel like I am on display. But that’s okay — I’m happy I can still lift and am cautiously optimistic I can lift until pregnancy. I also decided that in lieu of yoga twice a week, I’ll do prenatal yoga once a week and try to swim once or twice a week.

I was going through my old photos and so many of my pics are of me lifting or of my muscles. It made me really miss my old lifting goals but that’s okay. I’m happy with my body and what it can do now.

Otherwise, pregnancy has been fine. Neither good nor bad. We’re taking a birth class this weekend which I’m sort of nervous about (less for the class and more for what I’m going to learn). I’ve also decided firmly on no registry and no shower which I feel great about.

Here starts trimester the third. Pregnancy has definitely been getting harder and I am finding it harder to imagine just how much more pregnant one can get. I took my last business trip this weekend and it just really wore me down. Stuff like waiting in line at the airport can tire me out now pretty easily. One night, I went to bed at 8:30. And then, because I was traveling and worn down, I got sick! And now have an awful hacking cough and lack of voice.

I’m also officially done with regular yoga. My belly just doesn’t fit into all the poses anymore, and I have to adapt like half the class. Also, even the easiest open-level class with the gentlest teacher kicks my butt. I’m just feeling tired this week, like I wish I could sleep through the rest of this pregnancy.

Yesterday, we had a freak early snowstorm and I found myself walking so gingerly through the snow. My body is moving very differently now.

Otherwise, life is good. I feel thankful to have a job that lets me work from home, a nice partner, a lovely apartment, etc., etc.

This weekend, I’d love to catch up on sleep, eat soup, have hot showers, and maybe have some casual friend dates.

Hard to imagine this is the last week of the second trimester. I had my first official appointment with the midwives this week which went…okay. It was the week for my gestational diabetes test and I got really hangry in the office and found myself thinking, “maybe I should switch back to my OB” — hah.

I passed my test with flying colors which I was sort of surprised by. I attribute a lot of it to how easy it is to ‘exercise’ in a city, because you naturally have to walk around all day to get to your activities.

The midwife was not at all concerned about my super swollen feet which was reassuring. I was also told I have anemia but I already eat most of the food sources that are high in iron that I am willing to eat. I bought a vegan drink supplement that is supposed to help, so I’ll try taking that for a while. Hopefully, it will help my energy level and circulation.

I can feel the baby move every day, so it’s definitely starting to feel more real and like an independent being that I happen to be hosting.

Slightly delayed this week because I was at a conference. Work travel while pregnant is exhausting, though people are really, really nice to you. I’m definitely becoming more obviously pregnant because people will proactively offer me seats on the train as soon as they see me walking towards them. Symptoms this week continue to be swollen feet and ankles and shin splints. Other than that, I thankfully feel pretty good.

I have noticed some starter signs of seasonal anxiety, so I’m trying to be proactive about doing what I know works for me during this transitional time. This often includes:

• Getting up earlier and going to bed earlier;
• Making sure I use my lightbox for at least 30 minutes every morning;
• Emphasizing healthy fish fats (salmon and sardines);
• Working out consistently (morning workouts are best, though I have been pretty much exclusively working out after work for the last few months);
• Writing in my journal and meditating;
• Socializing.

A lot of these are just my standard best practices but I find the consistency and routine really help me in the winter, when decision-making is harder and I have less self-control.

I also started swimming a bit which is nice. Man, do I have to work to move my body through water! But it feels more natural than lots of other movements right now, including walking.

All I really want to do these days is enjoy R and our time together pre-baby. It feels like every week goes faster and faster and soon our relationship will be irrevocably changed. I know this will be great in lots of ways, but it’s still a transition I’m sort of mourning in advance. It’s been really nice to be pregnancy and know it’s with the right partner and will be a net positive in our relationship but it’s still a stressful change.