The swollen ankles! I have had a very easy pregnancy but the swelling in my feet and ankles is insane. Youch. I don’t really have anything to report this week. I went to an all-day biz meeting I had to train to and back which left me totally exhausted. I have two trips left, and then done with traveling which I’m so excited for.
I belong to an online community of people with similar due dates and three people in the group have gone into early labor which had made me very anxious. I have no reason to think that will happen to me, but neither did they…I can feel the baby move more often which is soothing for my anxiety. Still waiting for R to feel a kick though (or more like a full belly flop which is what it feels like more than a kick).
Workouts have been fine though I’m a little concerned about my weight gain. Almost more concerned just because it’s sort of traumatic to see my weight go up though rationally I understand that it needs to.
Goals for the weekend include:
- Getting in baby practice with a friend’s newborn!
- Making soup (butternut squash, red lentil, coconut milk)
- Watching hocus pocus
- Going on a half-day meditation retreat.
- Keeping tech sabbath for one of the days.
Remember this? It ended up being shorter than planned because my sister came into town. This is what went down:
- Friday night, I scheduled a foot massage with a friend. It was awesome. We ran into another friend while out and all got dinner together. Nice! When I got home, an event I had been looking to all week, I felt so lonely that no one was home to say hi to me and give me a hug :(. I ended up staying up too late and sleeping very fitfully.
- Saturday, I woke up at…9:15 in the morning. I still can’t believe I slept that late, but I attribute it to a very quiet apartment. I met my workout buddy at the gym, we pumped iron, and then ate bagels. It was nice.
- Post-gym and bagels I went home and…was lonely! No one was home to say hi to me or give me a hug 😦
- I went to the park to enjoy the beautiful weather. It was nice and I ended up talking to a stranger for an hour, which was fun — and not something I felt like would have happened had I had my phone on me.
- I watched an episode of TV, ate a slice of pumpkin pie, and did all my home errands (e.g. hang command hooks everywhere to mood-light the apartment).
- My sister came into down, and we had dinner together.
- Sunday, my sister left very early to visit my parents. I went to yoga class and met a friend for brunch. She came over after and…R came home! He said hi to me and gave me a hug.
- That afternoon, another friend visited who I hadn’t seen in a while and moved out of NYC. She brought a huge bag of baby clothes, which was greatly appreciated.
This is what I learned:
- I don’t like to live alone. Even though I had a lot of social plans (Friday dinner, Saturday brunch, Saturday dinner, Sunday brunch, and Sunday afternoon), I still had this feeling of overwhelming loneliness.
- I am lucky that I have a lot of friends who live locally or in walking distance or who are willing to come visit me.
- I need a lot of affection, including physical affection. I feel like this has maybe increased since becoming pregnant but maybe not.
- It’s really, really nice to have a few hours in the middle of the day to myself without the phone on. Those times felt infinitely long in a delicious way — and were great! Until I got lonely. So this in moderation.
Ahhh, Friday. There is something psychologically nice about having my pregnancy weeks line up with Fridays. I think I’m experiencing what people reference as the second trimester honeymoon. My body feels good, my emotions feel good, the baby doesn’t feel so close that I’m freaking out, but close enough that I’m kind of excited, etc.
I can feel the baby kick a lot now and pretty consistently. It goes gaga for orange juice, and kicks up a storm once I lay in bed for the night. I tried to get R to feel it yesterday but I guess it’s too early to feel it from the outside. Whenever I’ve been telling people that pregnancy has been pretty easy so far, they always follow-up with something like “wait and see”, often followed by an evil cackle. I find that so strange — why not allow people to enjoy pregnancy if and when it’s easy for them, and then support them when it’s more difficult?
I’ve been reading a ton about postpartum and specifically the idea of the fourth trimester and lying in. Basically, I’ve been trying to figure out what support I want to proactively plan for in the weeks immediately post-labor. Pregnancy and labor I don’t feel too concerned about, but the period after and transitioning to a completely new life stage does feel emotionally overwhelming.
My mom, who used to practice as a Certified Nurse Midwife, suggested R and I move into their house for the first 2-4 weeks post-baby, so we could learn baby skills but also have support of family to cook and clean and generally do everything non-baby related while we figure out baby. I was resistant to this idea at first but literally every book I read about the topic says this is what we are missing in modern society, and that it’s a very helpful and traditional thing to assist new mothers in transitioning to their new life. So definitely something we are thinking about.
Otherwise, life has felt good. I’m like obsessively into R right now which I find kind of funny, but also looking forward to spending this weekend home alone and doing whatever I want. And one of my oldest and dearest friends who recently moved away is visiting and I can’t wait to see her 🙂
This weekend, R is going out-of-town. From Friday at 5pm – Sunday at 2pm, I’ll get to do whatever I want. Here are things I’ve been thinking about:
- Keeping my phone off from Friday evening-Sunday morning. Totally off, which would require looking up plans, directions, etc. in advance.
- Buying some lux bath products and having a really nice bath.
- Choosing a recipe and cooking a nice meal (thinking about something like mushroom risotto or mashed potatoes, mmmm).
- Choosing some reflection prompts to write about in my journal.
- Making a list of nourishing activities and choosing each activity from that list.
- Taking a long walk.
- Carving a pumpkin while watching a favorite Halloween movie!
Any favorite weekend alone activities that you have?
Technically a week early. Pregnancy felt like it dominated my life this week, mostly because I had to leave work early three out of four days for a doctor’s appointment. Once with the midwives, once for a follow-up ultrasound, once for my OB. We decided to go with the midwives. They generally seemed much more hands-on and supportive of the parents’ preferences, and had a much lower c-section rate (like almost 20% lower). So that feels good!
Otherwise, physically I have felt pretty good. I am on track with the one pound a week estimate of weight gain and realized today that I have had basically no back or knee pain, despite being a lot heavier than my usual weight. I attributed that 100% to lifting weights because my body has the strength to carry the extra poundage.
And I bought a bucket to soak my swollen feet in. Ahhhhh. It’s so nice. Last night, I soaked my feet in Epsom salt while reading a book. It was the bomb dot com.
We also had our last ultrasound this week so it’s sort of insane to think the next visual we’ll get of the baby will be the real baby that exists as its own entity in the world. But not for at least 16 more weeks! Four months of wait.
Otherwise in life, things are good. I have a long weekend this week so am looking forward to getting out of town a bit and re-charging and maybe checking out a Korean spa or something.
Have you heard of this website? It’s a completely anonymous message board where people post topics/questions and others respond to comment or answer. Totally mesmerizing because of the pure anonymity of it all. I’m obsessed.